


Catharsis

by seitsemannen



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Getting over a break up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6023806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seitsemannen/pseuds/seitsemannen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though someone is what you want, they may not be what you need, and even though your relationship would be perfect on the surface, it might not be perfect for you at all. But getting over someone and being ready to love someone new is never easy, as it is not simple to let go of the past.</p><p>Mark is trying.</p><p>Therapeutic Markbum breakup-and-getting-over-them AU with Markson and 2jae.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> catharsis - (n.) “cleansing” or “purification”. A release of emotional tension after a difficult experience, resulting in the purging or purification of the emotions. [GREEK]

Three years ago in high school, Jaebum asked Mark to be his boyfriend.

Jaebum was the bad boy, the coolest person in the school, and everyone who was into boys sexually wanted to be with him, and everyone else wanted to be him, or his friend. The thing was, everyone wanted to be known by Jaebum, and the closer they were to Jaebum, the better it was.

Mark recognized Jaebum’s attractiveness like any other person in their school, but he didn’t bother trying to get close to Jaebum, not looking to kiss his ass to try and impress him.

So color him surprised when Jaebum approached him two months into their senior year and asked him out.

Mark ended up falling for Jaebum faster and harder than he had ever intended. They went on wonderful dates, were the joy and envy of the whole school, and it was nice. They were the most attractive boys in their class and both either gay or bisexual, so of course they would be together, right?

Despite himself, Mark tried really hard to be someone Jaebum would want him to be.

Mark knew he was naive, and he didn’t truly think they would be together forever, but he was young and he couldn’t help but hope so. It was stupid, but he loved to watch tv series about same-sex weddings and think about which colors would be perfect for their wedding. Something like peach would fit him and his fair colored hair well, but Jaebum would probably want something dark and broody like he was, perhaps charcoal or dark navy blue.

They didn’t really ever fight, so that was good, right? They just both needed their own space sometimes, getting tired of each other’s company, but when they hung out a couple of times a week after school, it was great. They made food and talked about interesting subjects, and their images complimented one another. On the outside they were a perfect couple, and Mark convincingly lied to himself that nothing was missing.

He was good at lying to himself.

So it wasn’t really surprising that he was completely heartbroken when Jaebum broke up with him on a rainy afternoon the summer after their graduation. That summer, they took a road trip with just the two of them from Seoul to Busan and spent the most wonderful three days walking on the beach hand in hand, watching the sunset and eating ice cream out of each other’s cones.

Three days after, on a rainy day when Jaebum and Mark were supposed to fly to LA to meet Mark’s family, Jaebum broke up with him in front of the airport, saying that he couldn’t do this, couldn’t go this far and this serious. He apologized and was honestly sorry, but Mark still felt betrayed.

They hadn’t been even a year together.

Mark cried, but somehow, he understood. He told Jaebum he was thankful although he was sad, and that he knew that he could find happiness again. Jaebum was proud of him.

Jaebum cared for him. But Jaebum didn’t want to be with him.

It was easier to be away from Jaebum for now, although he immediately burst into tears in the car ride home when his father asked him where the friend he was supposed to bring over was.

It was hard. But it made Mark stronger.

They hadn’t seen each other after the break-up, and over time it was more and more difficult to take contact to just talk things over. Mark was curious as to how Jaebum was, but he had deleted Jaebum from his social media after the break-up, so there wasn’t a way for him to find out without being obvious about it.

Sometimes, Mark still longed back to Busan, back to where they were perfect and happy and ideal.

Mark had a few flings and shorter things with people, but he was a bit more cautious with his love now, not ready to give his all. He was seeing this Hong Kongese guy right now, and there was a soft flutter in his stomach whenever the other smiled at him cutely, but Mark had his doubts. They weren’t ideal at all together. Jackson was loud, energetic and outgoing, and Mark was not. But Jackson made Mark laugh like no one else, and he wasn’t bothered that Mark wasn’t as talkative as he was. Jackson wasn’t exactly tall, dark, and handsome, or a bad boy like Mark thought he always had wanted, but maybe what he thought he wanted wasn’t what he needed at all.

They talked about stupid stuff, and ate take out food, and were barely functioning adults together. They fought, and they talked about difficult memories and feelings, and didn’t pretend to be something else just to make the other happy. They were imperfect, and somehow, that was right.

But sometimes, Mark would still think about Jaebum. His relationship with Jackson was far from what romantic movies depicted, like what his relationship with Jaebum had been. He was unsure, knowing he loved Jackson, and although he didn’t miss Jaebum anymore, he did kind of miss the idea of him. The idea of a perfect boyfriend, of a perfect romance, of two perfect poster boys together, who could form the perfect coulisse of a happy relationship and marriage.

This uncertainty was the reason why he wouldn’t move forward in his relationship with Jackson, afraid to commit to the other boy as he was afraid he’d fall too deep, and he’d be hurt again once it’d be over. For now, they were just casually chilling, and fucking, somewhere between the line of best friends and boyfriends, Mark never agreeing to making it official. Mark was still, in a way, hung up on Jaebum.

So it was kind of perfect when he ran into Jaebum the next week in front of a design glassware store in Sinsadong.

And when Jaebum asked him to get a coffee to exchange pleasantries and maybe some news too, Mark went with him.

It’s not like Mark had ever managed to tell Jaebum no.

Jaebum told about the dancing he was doing and about the film classes in the university he attended, and his eyes sparkled in a familiar way when he talked about something he was passionate about. It was nostalgic. Mark told in turn Jaebum about the job he had gotten at a coffee shop alongside the studies he was doing. They laughed together, and it felt good to know that his high school sweetheart was doing fine. It almost felt like before, except it wasn’t, and it never would be.

That became painfully obvious when Jaebum’s phone rang, and after answering and hanging up, he told Mark that his fiance Youngjae would be there soon.

How convenient.

Mark had been stupid to not have noticed the plain silver ring on his ring finger before, but he guessed he was used to Jaebum wearing tons of rings, so such a simple thing would not stand out to him.

Jaebum told him Youngjae was studying to be a journalist, and they had met on campus. When Jaebum spoke of Youngjae, his eyes smiled and he ruffled his hair in a nervous but pleased manner he always used to do when he introduced Mark as his boyfriend.

The last, insistent, naive hope that had clung to Mark all these years that he and Jaebum might still, somehow, end up together, broke and fell on the floor.

And honestly, Mark felt relieved. He had tried to let go of that silly hope for all this time, but he hadn’t just been able to. It felt like a weight lifted off of his chest to finally accept that it was over, although he had known it from the very first day after the breakup.

Youngjae was happy and bubbly and he laughed a lot. Youngjae’s voice was bright and loud, and Jaebum listened to it with a tender smile on his face, love obvious from the softness of his eyes.

Youngjae was truly a nice person. There was nothing to hate about him, and there was no reason why Mark would hate him.

Mark turned to watch Jaebum. He was still the perfect bad boy, Mark’s ideal type, just the kind of person Mark would have imagined to end up with. He still remembered the colors he had hoped their wedding would be, and how he had imagined Jaebum in a leather jacket instead of a suit, and how Jaebum would have looked at him with that tender look in his eyes as he’d say his perfect, romantic vows. Their parents would have cried, and Mark would have cried too. They would kiss, and it would have been perfect.

But it would have been an act. For how many years could they truly have been happy, living up to their ideal relationship, keeping the coulisses up?

Mark nipped on the brioche he had ordered, not really feeling like eating it.

When Youngjae excused himself to answer his phone and Jaebum turned to look back at Mark, Mark leaned a bit closer to be able to whisper over the table into the ear of the person he used to love once.

“We were doomed from the start, weren’t we?”

The look in Jaebum’s eyes when Mark leaned back into his chair was surprised, but then his eyes were filled with the same tenderness Mark had known for so many times, as Jaebum smiled a sad smile and nodded.

Mark finished his brioche in a few bites.

Youngjae concluded the call to return back to the conversation, but Mark was already wiping his fingers on a napkin, smiling politely at the pair as he gave an excuse about how he needed to leave. He told the two of them that he wished them to be happy together and that he hoped to get an invitation to their wedding, and Mark was relieved to notice he sincerely meant it. Jaebum smiled at him in that proud way of his, and he promised Mark he’d get an invitation, if he wanted to come.

Mark asked for a plus one for his boyfriend, and smirked when he noticed he had gotten Jaebum speechless for a moment, but then there was another honest smile on his gorgeous face, and Mark knew they understood each other.

Finally, there was a real conclusion to them. They were with other people, and they were happy, and they were able to be sincerely happy for one another.

They exchanged numbers as Jaebum had changed his in the two years they hadn’t known each other, and when Mark left the cafe, he smiled as he noticed the message he had gotten on Jaebum on Kakaotalk, saying he was glad they happened to meet again.

Mark was glad, too. Maybe they could be friends now.

He went straight to Jackson’s place instead of back home, and the moment the other boy opened the door Mark backed him into a wall, kissing him senseless. Jackson was clearly surprised, but quickly turned pliant and eager when Mark explored his mouth with his tongue and groped the muscular ass he adored with one hand.

When they parted, they were both kind of breathless, and Mark leaned his forehead against Jackson’s, studying the Hong Kongese boy’s dark eyes from up close, counting his lashes. 

They weren’t perfect together at all, but they were truly happy, and that was all that mattered.

“I love you. Will you be my boyfriend?”

It was barely a whisper onto Jackson’s lips, but the other man heard him, a small gasp leaving his mouth hearing these words finally after being denied them for months.

Jackson’s answer was a yes, whispered a thousand times on the skin of Mark’s body that night.

Mark didn’t long back to Busan with Jaebum anymore, but he made sure to make plans to go there with Jackson to make their own memories, instead.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something with a break-up and/or love triangle but with a happy ending, so I strayed and wrote this in one go. It was very therapeutic for me.
> 
> The details in this fic are based on the song Casablanca by Scandinavian Music Group, which was what inspired me to write this fic. If you are interested, check out the English translation and/or Finnish lyrics from here.
> 
> Let me know how you liked this story~


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